kateristic
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kate penned down @
12:59 PM
Thursday, March 09, 2006
WALA
i study every wall, every surface of a new. all's empty. no doors, no curtains, the unpainted portions, the untilled floor, every corner looks strange. long terms for the word "abandoned". that's how you made me picture it.
then you cry.. you weep for reasons i understand. and i feel like i'm an extra bag of burden. then i cry.. and weep for reasons you can't comprehend.
i haven't seen you smile lately. i haven't seen my eyes back to its normal lid. come on...
let me walk with you.
kwentuhan tayo..
kate penned down @
3:25 PM
Monday, February 20, 2006
EXCERPTS FROM A WARM CUP
i nod.
looking at the way you hesitate to take my hand, resisting so near yours. i know you are already gone. i will make it easy for the both of us, i told myself.
i will forget the feel of your hands on my skin.
i will smile and tell you that i'm happy for you because
that's what you want to hear..
and that's what i want to believe.
i will not hope that you will be back soon..
nor say that i wish i was going with you.
instead..
i will keep in mind that there's nothing between us anymore.
its just that
the coffee is too warm..
and i am so cold.
kate penned down @
12:19 PM
Monday, January 30, 2006
IF MUCH HAS BEEN SAID
why is it so difficult to love, when it should be the easiest thing to do?
kate penned down @
12:55 PM
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
COYOTE UGLY
when i close my eyes, everything becomes bleary.
i'm spinning around, spinning, spinning, spinning like a trolley
or anything that goes in circles.
it feels like the music box i used to hate back in preparatory school.
i am atop of this melancholy rhythm playing inside my head.
its fast. faster... twirling and twirling...
fast. fast. fast. it makes me want to catch my breath.
and when i do, i smell this funny aroma from last nights not-so-sober-moment.
what's worse is that i taste it, this funky smell.
i stink.
when i open my eyes, i see rays of light coming out from the unshielded portion of the blinds.
oh, and my worn out clothes screaming to the brim of my laundry basket.
filed up and scattered in a weird way.
how much i hate this pink sheets, the pink flower painting on that pink wall.
pink has never been my favorite color.
There is no intent of intoxicating myself.
plain stupidity, i know.
i just needed the sensation of being drunk.
i feel vindicated?
every thump of every heartbeat..
sounds like this heavy drumroll i hear on television noon time shows.
i've always been irritable to that stupid, stupid sound.
even the pencil i'm holding can't take a grip of my hand..
or the other way around, i don't give a shit for free.
every rush feels sickening.
i feel like barfing for the nth time.
when i shut my eyes again,
i try to see you.
your face comforts me.
your face comforts me in a sense wherein everything becomes still..
silent
peaceful.
and i want to pain, to laugh, to smile, to scream
all at the same moment of stillness in silence.
when i open my eyes again,
i try to see you.
to remind myself that in spite of these..
its a beautiful day.
one lovely day.
kate penned down @
8:37 PM
Saturday, December 24, 2005
O HAYEP.
malamig ang simoy ng hangin. sana kapiling kita ngayong mga sandaling ito. kahit hindi mo ako yakapin, makasama ka lang ay parang laging pasko. nagdiriwang, nagtatawanan, lahat ay nagsasalo salo. ngayon, bukas, at sa mga susunud pang mga araw, ikaw ang magsisilbing liwanag at sigla na nagbibigay ng pugay sa daan milyong ngiti na nakabakas sa muka ko. mahal na mahal kita o irog..
ikaw ang langit sa lupa, ang aking kaarawan, araw ni bonifacio, kaarawan ng mga tao sa mundo... pati narin araw ng mga santo, patay, ni rizal, at ramadan, at shempre pasko sa buhay ko.
astig ka, pero mas astig ako. dahil ikaw ay akin at ako ay saiyo. at nagawa ko to na walang dayuhang lenguahe.. at hindi bulol. kaya ayos. maayos talaga ako. kaya wag ka sana maging loko loko. dahil pag nangyari yun.. sasapakin kita at ng mga mahal kong kaibigan.
yun lang naman irog ang nais kong ipahiwatig. kung nababasa lang to ni maam mendoza.. hindi sana niya ako binigyan ng tres.
AT PARA SA MGA MAHAL KO SA BUHAY..
BLESSED BE.
magdiwang tayo.
pasko eh.
P.S.
pasensya na.. sabi saakin ng matalik kong kaibigan maganda daw eh.. edi nagpaka henyo nalang ako.
kate penned down @
7:39 PM
i heart you like WHOA. to bits!
Saturday, December 17, 2005
PICK YOUR TOES
miss thea palijo, you rock. i do too beacause we're bestfriends.
to cut the red shit, WE ROCK. hahahah.
superfriends.
charcoal.
distorted toes.
blue, purple, and color coded number two's.
cheers.
solo picks.
chicken dance.
kate penned down @
12:41 PM
i have been saving thousands of smiles for you.
Monday, December 12, 2005
PEDESTAL
come, carry me.
i wonder how it feels like to be lifted up.
you, me.. let's dive.
and witness life beyond the waters.
give me wings.
and fly me to paradise.
my pretty baby,
see me.
kate penned down @
1:03 PM
Monday, October 24, 2005
HOW IT FEELS LIKE
i dreamt about it last night. when i woke up, i knew exactly what's bound to happen.
FRIENDS...
i failed accounting 1a&b.
my whole life, i've been waiting for miracles to happen. after i saw that FAIL mark on my clearance paper, that's the only time i gave up on believing. you want to know why i feel so sick? it's because i put all my sweat, my time, and my head on that book. funny how it seems, but those who got LOWER, yes LOWER, grades than i did, PASSED.
it doesn't make any sense at all...
kate penned down @
6:43 PM
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
VULNERABILITY
vul·ner·a·ble ( P ) Pronunciation Key (vlnr--bl)
adj.
1.
-Susceptible to physical or emotional injury.
-Open to censure or criticism; assailable.
2.
-Liable to succumb, as to persuasion or temptation.
there were times when men showed real affection yet i, unintentionally, forbid myself to return the feeling. i always pick, most of the time, guys who i know will do nothing but break my heart. yeah, whoever enjoys pain is a major asshole.. who isn't when you're in love? i'm not saying that all my past relationships were tragic. all i'm saying is that even though crazy things happened, my mentality about love didn't change. i was always hopeful that there is SOMEONE who will come at the end of the day, and save me from this undying place.
this mentality of mine, as time went by, molded me to a person who is always vulnerable. I guess that explains why i get hurt and why i hurt people who loves me. fighting demons is not an easy task.
look at me now... i fear pain, which i never did before. i'm afraid that if i commit, i will just end up hurting or getting hurt. its sickening. why? because i want to settle and be happy. i'm not getting any younger!
what's done is done. so why all these drama? the guy i was blogging about, gave up for good. its been a month. I don't know if it was something i did or didn't do.
so what now?
i am afraid and a bitch. i am facing another situation that is seemingly confusing. i refuse to yield to an overwhelming desire or to get any closer and emotionally attached to kean(a close friend of mine, who happens to have a reputation) even if he makes me extremely happy.
i'm afraid that if i do, i will be ranting about this love sucks and shit all over again.
kate penned down @
2:44 PM
Saturday, October 01, 2005
HELLO WORLD.
how have you been?
its been a long time since i jotted down something sensible in here. maybe not. maybe i never did. maybe yes. does it matter?
MAGBALIK is a composition of a friend of mine. with rhythm, tsong, ASTEEEG YUN! so i thought of posting the lyrics. whenever i face the computer lately, my mind malfunctions. frankly speaking, that's the only productive thing i did yesterday besides cracking over-rated jokes to everyone.
yes ICA, my dear, i am happy, beyond ecstatic to be exact.. still corny thou :) hearts to you.
moving on..
tons of bizarre occurrences flooded my room. i will forever believe in sweet september.. just the thought of it makes me doubt everything else.
i'll save the rest of the whole for next time.
kate penned down @
3:43 PM
Thursday, September 29, 2005
MAGBALIK
by calalily
wala naba ang dating pagtingin
sawa na ba saaking lambing
wala ka namang dahilan
bakit bigla nalang nangiwan
di na alam ang gagawin
upang ikaw ay magbalik saakin
ginawa ko naman ang lahat
ngunit bakit bigla nalang naghanap
hindi magbabago
pagmamahal sa iyo
sana pakinggan mo
awit nitong pusong ito
tulad ng mundo na hindi tumitigil
sa pag ikot pag-ibig di mapapagod
tulad ng ilog na hindi tumitigil
sa pag agos, pag-ibig di matatapos
alaalay bumabalik
mga panahong nasasabik
sukdulang muka mo ay
laging nasa pabnaginip
bakit biglang pinagpalit
pagsasamahang tila nawaglit
ang dating walang hanggan
nagkaroon ng katapusan
hindi magbabago
pagmamahal sa iyo
sana pakinggan mo
awit nitong pusong ito
tulad ng mundo na hindi tumitigil
sa pag ikot pag-ibig di mapapagod
tulad ng ilog na hindi tumitigil
sa pag agos, pag-ibig di matatapos
kate penned down @
3:51 PM
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
ORDINARY PEOPLE by john legend
BOY im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday
I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
We head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way
I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel just like walking away
But as our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe you'll never find
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
You never know baby youuuu and I
---
HE CAME BACK. HE TOOK IT BACK.
I'M SO SO HAPPY!
I AM HAPPY.
kate penned down @
12:51 PM
Monday, August 01, 2005
TWENTEEN
i want to say thank you. thank you for those who remembered my aging last wednesday. it was overwhelming to feel loved, by the people who i love. thank you. thank you. thank you.
to my sister, who put candles and pictures of us growing up(mejo nagkalat lang naman sa kwarto ko) all over my room. that was the best gift i received.
to my bestfriend, who did not forget to CELEBRATE and MAKE me feel that it was indeed my day. i love you.
to my kakangs, who bonded with me and made my birthday something i will remember for the rest of my life.
to my friendships, who were there in spite of the "commotion" going on with their lives.
to my close friends, who greeted me via SMS.
to tonton and jerrick, who surprised me the moment i got home.
to my orgmates, who made my day work-free day.
to my new classmates, who sang happy birthday in class.
to my new teammates in pre-com and in commerce, thank you for the greetings.
to my cousin reji for that wonderful entry.
and to all of my batchmates, friends, and acquaintances... thank you. thank you for remembering.
i thank GOD everyday for all of you.
masaya. masaya.
its fun to be here even if sometimes its complicated.
kate penned down @
2:12 PM
Monday, July 25, 2005
DADDY DADDY, WHERE ART THOU?
i hate him. he went to our place earlier as if nothing happened. i hate his gut. i hate you!
and yes, as the saying goes, you hurt the people you love. so so so TRUE. i'm not his little girl anymore and i pity him for that. he's not the dad he used to be, and i pity me for that. its so sad. sometimes, it feels good to feel invisible from time to time.
para wala nalang pakeelamanan.
moving on, its officially a trend! yes it is. i want to do something about whats happening with my closest friends. it seems only yesterday when we discussed issues like this one. i believe. yes. i have faith that everything happens for a reason.
its god's will.
so why waste?
why can't we see things differently?
life is so simple, yet we are making it complicated. maybe because we all enjoy pain once in a while.
i do!
ang hirap. pano kaya sila? siguro nga, hindi ko maiiintindihan kung wala ako sa posisyon nila. marami pa akong dapat nalaman.
bata pa nga talaga ako. musmos na wala pang alam. at kung meron man, hindi pa sapat.
i'm a self confessed book worm and i have three addictions. movies, dreaming, and flicking cigarettes.
life for me moves constantly. i just go with the flow without hesitations. i do what makes me happy, because that's how we should live life. and that's how i want to live it.
i dream because i can, and i'm not afraid not to.
i do know how to say no. i am sober 24/7 even when mixed with alchohol.
i know my barriers, and my limitations. i study whenever i have to and whenever i can.
i play the guitar. hip hop isn't my thing, and it will never be.
i live for fruit roll-ups and pretzels.
i adore vin diesel and anyone who looks like him.
i fear god above anyone else.
i'm living.
i'm happy.
i'm 32 flavors and then some... *grins*
i.dig.
books. volleyball. guitar. movies. dishwala. alternative. acoustics. my bed. blue. black. white.
fruit roll-ups. planters pretzels. vin diesel. b. american idol re-runs. sex and the city. blitz. thei's pad. coffee. long and sensible conversations.
kalbo. stars. orange juice. sunsets. counterstrike.
i.quote.
"Anyone can escape into sleep, we are all geniuses when we dream, the butcher is the poet's equal there."
-E. M. Cioran
"the truest life is when you are in drems awake"
my xanga . old pictures . my multiply .
karen . thei . dan . kiw . ica . tiff . revs . mile . jr . tish . fitz . katkat . evive . val . gillian . pat . rhys . syxx . olive . iveee . essa. libay . shynney. myrrh. ganda. shay. rhyn. eliza. jello. liz. reji. phoenix. archive home.
i.thank.
my.archives.